1. |
State of Decay
04:51
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I’ve got a feeling that it’s over, this little life I’ve led is breaking piece by piece.
Inside it still feels so hollow, like I lost everything as it all went up in flames and I should have kept on moving forward, pull myself along with bloody shards left in my wake
But instead this hole just digs on deeper, no chances left at all to try a new escape
Always holding back from grace as winter changes into spring, cannot push aside the memories and what is left unsaid
I’m all bent up and sideways, tear me up and leave me here in pieces
I’ve been locked in a bitter phase, I might never be the same again
and it feels like I’m failing
barely have enough strength to stand
Slipping through the cracks and falling, watch the world turn to endless black
(+ 2rd chorus only: Oh my god is there anything?)
Is the glass ceiling really broken?
Forced an arm right through but it’s been caught up in the teeth
and what little strength I had was stolen, let it drain away as I was swept from underneath
Left bruised up and swollen
Infection’s digging deeper like a violent disease
How I wish I could get over, find a way to kill it before it spreads into my veins
The ice is growing far too thin as time is slowing down again, the things that I have shoved within are surfacing to drag me away-
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2. |
Entry #2: My Disease
03:14
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Shoved back the better parts that were dormant inside of me
And I tore the eyes out from my skull so I couldn’t see
Just to live in ignorance in hopes it’d set me free
But all I found was empty black and this airy, chilling breeze
So now I’ve gone astray just like a stupid dream
And my body cannot take the abuse sustained as means
To cope with hopelessness - the drugs, the lack of sleep
It attacks the vital spots the heart and my blood stream
So now I’m playing it safe and keeping myself clean
With blind hopes and faith ‘cause I’m afraid of the air I breathe
And I’ve tried to let it go but I’m strung out and I wanna fucking scream
It’s all so overwhelming
I wanna make it stop
What crawled inside my body
Is gonna make me drop
Comprised of chips and cracks on a frame left incomplete
and there’s no amount of paint that could make my damage recede
Well I’ve become a filthy rat yeah I’m bloated with a new disease and it rots from the inside out and chews
Until my functions cease
Its all so overwhelming I want to make it stop
What crawled inside my body is going to make me drop
I swear there’s something looming
It’s rooted in my bones
What’s here is all consuming
It’s eating at my core
And I feel it draining slowly, leaving long scabs and sores, I’m tossing about and writhing and I cannot take much more
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3. |
Data Rain.
03:51
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Don’t need a reason to explain all of the shit that I get
I’m just a bastard setting fire to every bridge
And at this point its safe to say I deserve all of this
For finding ways to burn and sour my relationships
Im fucked by all I regret and I’m sick of the consequence, something inside of me is crawling to the surface again
Can you see it in my compound eyes
The way my mandibles spread open wide, inject the venom and kill you slowly -
I’ll forever be a stain on your mind
All I want
Is to quit feeling so sick
To take back damage done
And live life naturally
(My data’s so corrupted, it’s rotting out on the ends / I’ll always be a mess)
My web is long and it tangles all that is within my reach
And I can’t control it , I destroy and I ruin and I leech
‘Till we’re both broken and well past the point of repair
I’ll make you question whether or not I ever really cared
All I want
Is to quit feeling so sick
To take back damage done
Live life naturally
But I can’t stop
Buried under my shit
Nothing ever works
Nothing ever did
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4. |
Cephalic Bile
06:31
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Lets analyze the components
The molded out parts that feel defective
Yeah something’s wrong with me you’ve gathered
But I don’t think it’s quite what you expected
There’s data left across my forearms
And a terrible stench from wounds untreated
Far beyond just whats self destructive
You don’t have to lie, I know I’m repugnant
There’s a void to feed
With insects, wires and cold devices
Piling up in me
It makes no sense trying to hide
What you all can see
Its clear from the way my jaws are grinding
that it burns and stings
I’ve never known any peace or quiet
My face is too deformed
I bet you couldn’t tell that I used to be human
then somewhere back in time I distorted
and the terrifying thoughts I deemed intrusive
Clawed out from the dirt to come find me
Raping me and gnawing beyond being broken
They’re so set to keep repeating
Sucking ‘till I’m dry and completely soulless
There’s a void to feed
With insects, wires and cold devices
Piling up in me
It makes no sense trying to hide
What you all can see
Its clear from the way my jaws are grinding
that it burns and stings
I’ve never known any peace or quiet
No my thoughts aren’t safe
Analyzing / over dissecting
even in my sleep
The horrors hiding in my dreams
Come out to play
Finding brand new ways to torment
and make me bleed
Always lurking, always watching
Recoil in defeat
The evil in my mind is taking ahold of me
Cutting through the fiber lining down my seams
Held together by plucked out hairs
tied around like strings
A symbol for my unbecoming.
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5. |
Entry #5: Malforming
06:47
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skin peels off
When I wound myself
My face splits apart
When I’m in distress
And my body breaks
In the pulsing change
Of what’s underneath
Its mutating
Body distorts
And my limbs contort
I’ve been reborn
As a new life form
And all these spores
Keep growing more
I will rot
I will break
I want to live…
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6. |
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7. |
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It’s safe to say this is where things end
The final page, the last document
I’m just too far gone
Sorry everyone
I’m afraid of what I am
So ashamed of who I’ve been
Couldn’t escape the rot
I am disgusting
There’s a price to pay
For every day
The spores are flowing from my face
I’m caving in
I know I’m spent
Decaying slowly ‘till nothing’s left
The flies have swarmed my discarded skin
Which broke off to reveal what’s within
This horrid carapace
God I’m going cold
And all this scabbing running down my legs
Sores on my arms and across my neck
Got so infected
It’s like I’m decomposed
Yeah I believe I was doomed from the start
That this twist of fate would always chew me apart
There was really no escape
I can’t force my way out
There’s a price to pay
For every day
The spores are flowing from my face
I’m caving in
And I know I’m spent
Decaying slowly ‘till nothing’s left
If you’re reading this
It’s far too late
Don’t think that anyone could have changed
What I’ve become
The full extent
All I endured in my descent
Reached an arm out to open the blinds
Watch the sun to gauge the passing of time
I can feel it now…there’ll be no tomorrow
These ultraviolet rays are all I can see
and it’s getting so much harder to breathe
Always twitching in pain
It hurts to be awake
So don’t you dare try to come find me
There’s no point you wont like what you see
Even if it’s just remains
I’m not sure what awaits
Fall unto this pitch empty black
Feel my body start collapsing in
It’s a cruel ending
But it’s one I find fitting
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